She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
