Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
