So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
