As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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