I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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