Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
