Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
