There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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