she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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