standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
