I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
