It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
