guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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