awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
