She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
