so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
