Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
