The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
