I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so let's talk penis.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
