The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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