I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
