he told me I talked like a deaf person
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
