You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
never play flip cup with pint glasses
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
