I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
