You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
