So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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