The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
