How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
