I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
