That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
