The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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