I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
