ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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