you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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