I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You're like the curious george of whores
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
