just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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