he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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