I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The power of my boobs compel you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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