I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
