it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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