walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
