im drinking this country out of the recession.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
