hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
