yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
