Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
