wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We need a shit load of segways right now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
