Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
