Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
