the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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