69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
