is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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